So you think that's all right then do you?

Whilst out enjoying a rather well earned beer I met the most tedious, ill mannered, boorish bully from Manchester. He was somewhere in his fifties, fat and rather un-pleasant. He was like a spoilt child that had never really grown up... He had just expanded.

He was with the most beautiful looking teenage Thai girl, she could have been in her 20's, who knows here... She was the epitome of willowy elegance. I consider it quite a wise move generally to avoid passing judgement on other peoples relationships - it is after all none of my business; but he was doing his best to make a fool out of her and had decided to confide in me after a few beers - like I really have anything in common with him other than the fact I used to go raving in Manchester years ago... Apparently so did he - by that I mean he probably used to shoot other drug dealers outside the Hacienda...

- "...you should get one of these they work like buggery and they never really moan, better than any of those slags in Manchester"

- " She doesn't really look that happy about it"

- "Yeah but they don't really think like us, they see it differently, we're doing them a massive favour! End'a'tha'day she's getting what she wants and I'm getting what I want "

- " What favour are you actually doing her?"

- " Well she can get a passport now."

- "I think that's pretty heartless of you, well done! You've actually come half way around the world to make someone unhappy - I'll give you full marks for dedication there, brilliant."

-"She could've done a lot worse..."

-"but I bet she could have done better."

- "S'pose so, but she's happy enough, at the end'a'tha'day she's getting what she wants and I'm getting what I want."

- "Sorry I'm really busy - have to dash."

THIS IS NOT AS UN-COMMON AS YOU WOULD HOPE.

- but then again I'm sure some wives brought by westerners are perfectly content, indeed I had the pleasure of meeting a very happy couple the other night... So who knows, maybe it does work but You Jimmy are a total CUNT!

Basically here in the land of smiles the most beautiful girl is not smiling and that is down to you. You are an embarrassment to England and I'm really pleased I'll never see you again. MAN THE FUCK UP AND SHOW SOME FUCKING RESPECT!

RANT OVER!