"VATI-KUNST"... Pope's new avent-garde manifesto.

In a move today which has led art-critics around the world to become divided, the Vatican have announced a new manifesto for their own avent-garde art collective "VATI-KUNST"-

The manifesto displayed on the steps of the vatican consisted of a replica of the Turin shroud that simply has the words "FUCK EVERYONE!" daubed in what appears to be faecal matter.

Pope Benedict speaking live from Vatican city defended his decision to give the controversial group his backing by attacking the critics and calling them " nothing but a bunch of whinging Jews and raving homosexuals!"

"Vati-Kunst" courted controversy with their first conceptual instillation entitled "PAEDO-KUNST!" - a living piece exploring the ascension of Christ by focusing on the penetration and subjugation of the male form. Incorporating aspects of Brechtian theatre, this piece shows Priests abducting and raping several choir-boys under their protection in 1970's Germany. The priests are then removed to another parish in order to continue their work unhindered.

In an interview with German television reporter 'Roger Bouyes', pope Benedict defends the work stating that;

" ... it's always the same with contemporary art, reactionaries are everywhere and it's hard to make a real statement. There are too many philistines and critics-mainly frustrated homosexuals and Jews- who are ready to dismiss an important work of art. "PAEDO-KUNST" is vital to the cultural heritage of the Vatican city and is a very profound comment on the hegemony of the universal church. To censor our work is really to submit to pressure from agressive liberals- it's political correctness gone mad!"

He later added...

"I bet Michalangelo didn't have to put up with this sort of shit!"


However contraversial, "VATI-KUNST" have won the support of many of the cultural elite, one leading art-critic wrote;

" The worship of the divine child form is a pivotal exploration of our humanity and should not be subject to the bourgouis morality issues inherent in our puritan proliteriate. "VATI-KUNST" performance "TOTAL-KUNST!" is without doubt one of the most viscerol and relevent critiques of contemporary culture which brings meaning to the dogma inherent in religious iconography... "

"VATI-KUNST" bring their new work "THIRD WORLD-KUNST!" to London this September: A piece that has already angered many local Londoners by costing well in excess of £1, 000 000 to the tax-payer, and insisting that the HIV virus can actually permeate a rubber prophylactic condom. "THIRD WORLD-KUNST!" is on show in London until Monday.